Pedagogy of The Depressed
by Boondocks23
Summary: "When the days change. So does my attitude. I'm messy at home. I eat a lot of junk food. When the nights change. So do my nightmares too. I dream reality...is my dream." A boy who's known for getting others out of trouble, but who can save the day when he's fallen so deep even Huey becomes helpless?


**A/N: Hey guys I wanna start off by saying I apologize to those who have followed and/or favorited my other stories. Unfortunately I have to put them on an indefinite hiatus because my computer caught a virus and I lost my chapters. I don't have enough to get the pc fixed and again I have a lump sum of shit on top of me at the moment so the best I can do is make short stories at the moment. If you think I'm just venting you'll probably be right 99 percent of the time. I may do a few drabbles just to see how confined I can actually make a piece but don't expect those too much. Expect more short stories with some that can be connected and some that stand alone. Anyways I'm glad you're all still keeping your imagination fresh and try to write something if you're an on looker. Even if you don't write, it's healthy to let some things out into form.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the Boondocks and unfortunately neither does Aaron anymore :( (I'm happy we got at LEAST 3 amazing seasons even though it makes me sad that everyone always wants to put their hands on something just so they can have some credit. And then you wonder why great things turn into shit.)**

 **Warning: Controversial subjects, suicidal thoughts, and maybe some feels?**

* * *

 _ **'Life is meaningless.'**_

Huey stood in front of his tall mirror. A nine inch blade on a butterfly knife in his hand. Watching his reflection sneer back at him, raising his hand to stop just at the neck.

 _ **'Everyone's corrupt, or small minded, or ignorant, or crazy, or SELFISH! The ones in between are far and few. It doesn't matter what we're doing or what we accomplish cause soon we'll be dead and eventually forgotten.'**_ Huey's expressionless features never changed as his thoughts became louder. The sharp blade now pushing against his skin. He always found himself in this position on days like this. He hated public events and he couldn't stop the ever growing annoyance of those closest to him. His grandfather who loved to show off and act so caring in public but verbally abusive behind closed doors. His brother who just started selling drugs at the age of 15 and might as well prepare for summer school for the amount of days he's missed. His friends who, the more he grew closer to, he pushed even further away because he didn't want them to see behind his mask. They couldn't understand how he felt so he kept them in the dark and made up any excuse he could to be alone with his demons.

 _ **'After mom and dad...I just wanted to find some way to be normal..or happy. Day after day I would watch the other kids run out to their parents who were waiting to pick them up. I would sit and wait for however long until my grandad finally slouched his way there. Riley would join me in the waiting process. But after a while he started walking home...which meant him walking around with moralless goons until Grandad threatens him to come home.'**_

He pressed the knife even harder against his neck. At this point he was entering tunnel vision and his reflection was nothing more than a hazy figure in the background of his mind. Tightening his grip around the knife, he closed his eyes.

 _ **'I thought maybe putting my mind and body to work might help fill the void in me. I trained hard until my body was like a mountain. I studied so much that I could literally teach a course on any subject. Psychology, quantum physics, calculus, you name it. I know enough to give most kids a brain aneurysm. I've traveled around the world, I've participated in rituals and was taught many different scriptures from multiple religions. I've even tried to have...sex. Boy was that a trainwreck. I've tried many, MANY things but nothing will take away this excruciating agony. Is this what life is supposed to be after the blinders of ignorance is removed from a child's eyes?'**_

Today was New Years eve and every year the gang got together to celebrate the countdown. Usually there were games, ice cream, and new gossip to tell. But the last few years had additional supplies such as alcohol and marijuana. A vibration spread through Huey's body.

 _ **'It's probably just Jazmine. I know she wants to have the countdown at her place so it won't be as hard for me to back out. It was here last year so I HAD to be here. The year before that it was at Cindy's and I just complained about having no way to get there. Cindy didn't seem too happy about it either. I heard she had been setting things up the night before and only got a few hours of sleep. I really fucking blew it that year and ever since, she's been giving me a slight cold shoulder. I feel terrible about it and I don't even think she accepted my apology. I miss talking to her...she's one of the few people I know who can make me laugh. If I could go back I would have helped her decorate AND shown up. Now every time I look at her I feel like shit.'**_

Huey didn't have many regrets but not showing up was one of them. He knew how important this day was to the group. He cared nothing for the holiday or the power it gives people to drink. But it was a day they all enjoyed simply for each others company. Although every year it's gets harder and harder for Huey to put in effort. With every obstacle, lost battle, rejection, or reality check, his ambition was slowly cut down. These days he can barely find the strength to get out of bed.

 _ **'What am I doing wrong? I thought I was low on Endorphins so I started practicing my katas (A/N: Martial Art forms and techniques) again this month. I finished 2 projects last week. I've been meditating again but it only grants me apathy. I feel nothing! Even more, I feel like a waste of existence. Riley never takes my advice so I can't be a brother. Being a son is out of the question and being a grandson is such a hassle. I wanna be a good friend but just being around so many cheerful faces reminds me of how alone I really am. I just wanna...disappear.'**_

When he gets to this point, he usually stops and shakes his head at the audacity to even think about this scenario.

 _ **'But... what if...this time I follow through. NO! If you're gone, who's gonna bail Riley or Grandad out of trouble? Weird...for some reason I have just enough Serotonin and Oxytocin to hold on to my family...but not enough for anything else.'**_

He noticed blood trickling down the blade. Looking into the mirror, he saw the small gash where blood steadily flowed. With haste, he grabbed a black t-shirt and pressed it against his neck. _**'Shit. Now I'm gonna have to cover this up.'**_

Huey lightly wrapped his neck with bandages after pouring rubbing alcohol on the wound. He pulled his phone out from his pocket to check his notifications. It was a text from Cindy. He read it in her voice.

 _ **'Hey! Am I gonna see you tonight?'**_ Before he could reply she wrote him again. _ **'Or do you have more ERRANDS to run?'**_

He had been using that specific phrase to get out of the last few get togethers they had recently. The only thing he had on his agenda was testing out his latest experiment. He moved to text her back but stopped just as he opened his keyboard.

 _ **'If I tell her what I wanna do, she'll call me out on it and I don't feel like dealing with that. However, if I say I'm going then I'll have to keep my word. I don't understand why they need me there. I don't like to gossip and I don't like to drink. They want me around so they can feel better about including me when in reality they'll all laugh and drink with each other and soon I'll be sitting at a table by myself, stuck in thought. I don't think any of them hate me but if I'm honest, we're only friends because everyone's afraid to let go.'**_

He shook himself out of the daze and replied. _**'I do have something urgent to test out but I promise I'll make it if I have time.'**_ He threw on a dark green turtleneck thermal. He felt another vibration. His eyes widened as he read the message.

 _ **'I understand but if you don't show up I may cry.'**_ His mouth dropped a little. He had heard something like this before but it was from Jazmine which meant she was just pouting. But he had never encountered these words from Cindy.

 _ **'What... what does that mean? Is she joking or...'**_ , he felt another vibration and watched a new text from Cindy appear.

 _ **'SIKE! Lol but I hope to see you.'**_ He read it and raised an eyebrow.

 _ **'So it was a joke? I'm used to her jokes...but not this one. Is it a cover up? But why would she cry?'**_ He contemplated for a few minutes. He went back into the depths of his mind looking for a memory of her most confusing jokes. _**'She did slap my ass and say good game after playing hockey...even though we lost that one. Even weirder, she pulled a prank on me on valentine's day. A secret admirer supposedly had sent me 40 pieces of chocolate in a box and a small teddy bear. I figured it was a prank but I never would have guessed it would be Cindy. I guess I deserved that one for not showing up to the New Years event at her place. Still it was a little much.'**_

His ears perked up as he heard light knocks on his front door. He slumped down the stairs and groggily opened the front door.

* * *

"Cindy? How did you get over here?" Huey questioned with prancing eyes.

"Well hey to you too. Oh, my day? It's been lovely cause I've had to follow HER around EVERYWHERE!" Cindy sighed loudly.

"Sorry..hey. I'm guessing you were over there." He let her in.

"I waaaaas!" She plopped down on his sofa. "So what's so important that you have to miss this again?" She looked up at him from the couch.

"It's just something I built as extra credit for the days I missed last month." He went for the kitchen and she followed him in a hurry.

"Which was very strange for someone as prestigious as yourself." She said as she leaned against the kitchen counter.

"Did you just use the word prestigious to define me?" He poured the last of a bottle of OJ into a cup.

"Did I not use that right?" A hint of embarrassment in her voice.

"You did. I'm just...not used to it I guess." He downed the cup and put it in the sink.

"So what I'm stupid now?" She crossed her arms.

"No! I didn't mean that." He put his hands out defensively.

"I'm just kidding big head! Lighten up!" She playfully bumped him with her shoulder. He just rolled his eyes and walked past her.

"Look I have less than a week to finish this project and tonight I have to test it out at just the right time. I can't be late." He rubbed his eye and nose.

"Ok...well let me join you." She followed him back to the living room.

"I don't know Cindy. I don't like being distracted when I'm working."

"I promise you won't even know I'm there!" She threw him an innocent smile, showing her pearly whites.

"Ok...but then what's the point of coming along?" He questioned with a bit of annoyance etched on his face.

"I just wan-...I mean, I could help you study whatever you got. It should be a lil faster that way right?" She shrugged with her hands out.

"I guess." He sighed as he gave up.

"Ok great! I'm gonna finish up over there and I'll be back soon."

"Wait so you just left her there before y'all finished?" He said as he opened his front door.

"Shut up! 30 minutes tops, I promise!" She yelled as she ran out.

* * *

An hour had passed by and Huey was beyond irritated.

 _ **'Why hasn't she notified me yet? I told her I didn't want her coming in the first place. Nobody listens to me anymore. This is another reason why I stopped talking so much. My words usually go in and out if it even reaches the ears of another person. I thought she was one of the listeners. Whenever I DID have something to say or maybe joke about, Cindy would chime in sometimes almost as if she knew exactly what I was talking about. I know she's smart but I would have noticed if she were on a different level. Ughhh...I can't wait anymore; it's already about to be 9.'**_

He threw on a dark grey pea coat and grabbed a few tools from his closet. He ran out in a hurry. He made sure to text her and give her the status update.

 _ **'Can't waste anymore time. Heading to the big hill.'**_ He sent it and took off running. The cold air and snow pushed him but he fought against it. When he reached the top of the hill he let out a long sigh. He scanned the entire area, as far as he could see before pulling out a small black cube. He examined it for a minute before pressing a flat button on the left side of it. Sharp prongs stuck out and it emitted the sound of a device powering up. He stuck the box into the ground by the prongs and it went dead quiet. He pulled his phone out.

 _ **'Now lemme see what she wrote.'**_ He saw multiple messages from her.

 _ **'Awww, sorry I took so long!'**_ A few minutes later she wrote, _**'Can I still come with?'**_ The last message was _**'How far are you?'**_ He received it about 10 min ago. He decided to save her skin tonight.

 _ **'Its very cold out here so just stay there. I'm already about to leave.'**_ It wasn't that cold to him since he's trained under waterfalls before. He also wasn't leaving until the machine worked. _ **'There should be a low frequency sound with a radius of about a mile that every cat should hear and follow. It's been set just right to ease their emotions, thus making them docile.'**_ Just as he heard footsteps he heard a familiar voice.

"I knew you'd still be here!" Cindy ran up to him and looked around with her face in her hands. She wore a puffy jacket and a beanie.

"I told you it was cold, but you came anyway? That's called being stubborn you know?" He frowned slightly more.

"And I told you to wait nigga, I guess we can't always get what we want." She teased with a smile.

"Yea...", his eyes lowered and an unfamiliar expression flashed across his features. Cindy noticed and nudged his arm.

"So what's that project you wanted to "test out"?" She motioned her hands into air quotes.

"Well...since I missed the physics test last week, I told Ms. Simpson that I would do a project on animal attraction and that I could make something to attract them as well." Before he could finish Cindy interjected with a questioning finger raised.

"You mean like some kind of sonic emitter?" She saw yet another unfamiliar expression on his features however this one wasn't so sorrowful.

"No that's exactly what it is. I've stuck it there by the tree and I've programmed it to output low frequency sound waves that we won't be able to hear."

"Ok...so how do you know it works?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Look around." When she turned she jumped back a little as dozens of cats and dogs were walking towards her.

"Oh my god!" She fell back against Huey and he caught her.

"It's fine, they're just looking for the source. They should be ok to be around as long as the emitter is on." He knelt down and held his hand out. 2 cats and a dog walked up to sniff his fingers.

"Well even so...I love dogs but cats freak me out." She took a step back before Huey grabbed her hand and lightly pulled her down.

"Cats are animals too...and they're looking for a place in this universe just like the rest of us. They seem very wild but they have feelings just like us and if they're on the streets, they're just looking for food and some company. I mean nobody wants to be lonely, right?" He said as he guided her hand down the cats spine. She could feel the purring from the cat and also the warmth in Huey's hands.

"Ughh...fine. I guess they're kinda cute when they're not bending all weird and sounding like the devil."

"If there was such a thing." Huey muttered under his breath.

"I get that you're smart as hell, no pun intended, but how would you know that?"

"Because if there's a devil, then that means there's a Christian god up there. And I refuse to believe that." He stood up and took the device out of the ground. "Let's go back now. I'm about to change the frequency and it's gonna scare you if you're too close." She followed him closely. He pressed a button and all of the animals started howling or running away as fast as they could.

"Holy shit!" Cindy yelled as a yelping dog ran past her.

"Don't worry they're just scared. It's an unheard frequency but it's not harmful at all."

* * *

They made it back to his house and he opened his front door in a hurry.

"Shit it's cold. Hurry up and put that shit away so we can enjoy this party." She demanded as she rubbed her hands together.

"You go ahead and I'll meet you over there." He said as he ascended the staircase to his room. She chased after him.

"No, no, no." She followed him into his room. "If I leave, something is gonna keep you from coming to this party. So I'll wait." She sat on Huey's bed and crossed her arms.

"Do you have to follow me into my room? I may have to change ya know." He put up his sonic emitter and took his pea coat off.

"You got your own room AND bathroom, so go change in there if ya have to. You looked fine though, so why do you need to change?" She questioned his actions. He said nothing as he searched his closet. Cindy checked her phone before speaking again. "Jazmine just texted me. She said we need to hurry or we're gonna miss the countdown."

"I'm not going. So you should get going if you wanna catch that."

"Bu-but you said you were going after that fucking circus you created!" She frowned.

"Yea well...I lied. I didn't know you were actually gonna follow me around." He went into his bathroom and shut the door. The sink could be heard running.

"WHAT!" She yelled as she threw her arms out. She jumped up and walked up to the door. "So you've been lying to us all this time? Every time you had ERRANDS or when you were STUCK somewhere, you actually just didn't wanna be around us?"

"It's not like that." He said as he turned the water off. He checked his neck and it wasn't bleeding but it was still sore. _**'Fuck! I got trapped and now if I lie, I'll only dig myself deeper. But if I tell the truth...she'll think I'm pathetic or selfish.'**_

"Oh yea! It's not like that but on the ONE year I wanna put in effort to make things nice for a change, you don't even SHOW UP!" She yelled, fighting back tears. The door opened and she straightened herself up.

"So...you're still mad about that." He spoke softly.

"Of course I am. I stayed up all night to make everyone happy and you decided it wasn't important enough." She said with a soft scowl.

"That's not what happened!" He raised his voice instinctively. "I mean...what's the big deal anyway? I'm sure you all had a great time regardless." He walked past her and she pulled him by the arm, stopping him in his tracks.

"Its NOT the same without you!" Her beanie had slipped off and fallen to the floor. Her wild bangs hung over her face.

"Don't act like we're all such great friends. If we hadn't met as kids we wouldn't be friends now and you know it." She hadn't seen this face in years. The older they got the more he hid this side of himself. He seemed to put on a fake cheerful expression every now and then to keep them from knowing the agony he felt every single day.

"Of course we would!" She desperately defended the group.

"I'm sure nobody would care if I was there and I can bet nobody notices when I leave." He said with a cold tone and deep low eyes.

"You're seriously out of your mind if you believe that! Everybody over there cares about you and maybe I can't speak for everyone but I NOTICE!" She almost screamed. "When I first met you I knew there was a reason why I sat behind you. I felt something different around you. I felt a pull and once I realized how real and unique and talented you were, I decided to do what I could to keep up with you. I kept up with my academics and focused on science so I could get your nerdy jokes and even join in." She stepped up to him with a feisty look.

"They weren't nerdy." He softly said while looking away.

"I wanted to be so...REAL like Beans but then there was this world of yours that I wanted to be apart of even more. It was so much harder of course because you never did anything boring or ordinary. But then one day you just stopped talking as much, stopped hanging around as much, and started keeping to yourself. So WHY! Why do you wanna be alone?" She almost cracked.

"You wouldn't understand. I was born with two strikes against me by being born a dark skinned male. Now that I've acquired the knowledge I have, I may never be able to find happiness. That's the third strike Cin." He looked down into her eyes.

"What are you talking about? Just tell me what's wrong?" She stepped forward as she pleaded.

"Without knowledge you are free to believe that maybe you don't need normal parents like everyone. Maybe you can still be happy after all. But that goes right out the window once you learn how this world truly works. The rich run everything and to feed their greed they keep others down by being immoral and unfair. You learn that people are more evil than you could ever imagine. I mean they sell children for fucks sake! Once you find out that the world isn't a fucking disney movie, you ask yourself where's GOD? Why didn't he save my parents during the home invasion? Why did I survive and not them?" He stared at the ground.

"Huey...I didn't know you dealt with this." She got closer and saw a red mark under his turtleneck collar. She peeled it back and it startled Huey causing him to jump back a little.

"Don't look!" He covered it quickly. "It-it was an accident I swear." He backed up until he stood by his window. When he looked up at Cindy her eyes were full of tears. They fell freely down her cheeks. She ran and threw her arms around his neck and whispered in his ear.

"I-I never thought...you had so much weight on your heart." She said in between sniffles. "I just wanted to be around you...and by your side so you wouldn't be so lonely. I guess I didn't do enough but you HAVE to know I'm so fucking glad you're here." She squeezed him tighter and after a minute he finally embraced her back.

"Cindy there were so many times when I wanted to just...speak my feelings but I didn't want anyone to feel what I felt. I didn't wanna be the one to ruin the mood so whenever I was around I had to pretend I was fine. Eventually it started to hurt more when I faked a smile so I just stayed away. Everything started to feel meaningless and sometimes I hope I don't wake up when I lay down at night." A single tear snuck its way down his face.

"That's not fair...you can't make decisions for other people. You should have told me...I was so sad when you didn't show up to my house but I had NO...IDEA that you were feeling this way!" She did her best to fight back more tears. He squeezed her tighter and she moved her hand in small circles on his back to comfort him.

"I swear I wanted to go...I would love NOTHING more than to hang out with people I care about. I just get this overwhelming feeling of...being worthless when I'm around others. I'm not funny...I don't watch movies or TV...I don't even know why you guys still talk to me." She pulled away to look at him. There was a fresh tear falling down his cheek but she caught it before wiping his eyes.

"You. Are. Not. Worthless. And you're so much more than those things. I know because I've been sitting behind you for years. You've helped EVERYONE out of a bad situation at one point or another. The gang all thought you were just so busy with responsibilities or we would have all tried to reach out, I promise. I'm sorry about your parents but you STILL deserve...happiness." Her voice cracked and Huey wiped her eyes himself.

"Please...don't cry Cin. I don't deserve your pity." He watched her face turn from sorrow to anger. She pushed him off and he backed up against the window.

"It's NOT pity you asshole, I LOVE YOU! Err...I mean...we ALL lo-love you." Her cheeks reddened as if her mouth was on fire. She looked away as Huey reached out. He wiped her eyes again and gave her a weak smile.

"I...didn't even know someone could care this much about me. I'm such a jackass...can you forgive me?"

"Only if you promise to lean on me when you're feeling lonely."

"Only when I'm lonely?" He asked sarcastically.

"Not necessarily." She smirked.

They could hear a loud crowd yelling and they looked over at Jazmines house. Through the living room window they could see people standing around each other.

"Sounds like the countdown...sorry I made you miss it."

"There's nowhere I'd rather be than here with you." She looked down as her cheeks grew red again. Huey's heart started thumping loudly in his chest as a smile gradually formed across his face.

"I have an idea!" He ran with excitement and stumbled a bit before recovering.

"I bet that's a first you goof." She said with a chuckle.

"You saw nothing." He quickly responded as he looked for something in his closet. He grabbed a small circular grey object and placed it in the center of the room. It had an intricate design of micro holes all around the top. "This is something I was working on for the party this year. It works using kinetic energy." He held it in place by a finger and swiftly spun it with the other hand. Flicking the light switch off, he backed up and a light from the metal sphere began to shine brighter and brighter until it lit up the top half of the room with an elaborate scheme of holographic constellations.

"Whoa." Cindy could only utter one word as she swallowed the beauty before her. Huey opened his window before standing beside her to slightly admire his own work.

"Now we can enjoy the countdown as well." He gave her a rare soft smile. She looked up at him almost star gazed. They locked eyes and held it in silence. They could hear the crowd counting down from Jazmine's house.

"10!"

 _ **'I hate myself so much. I can't do anything right. But hopefully this helps.'**_

"9!"

 _ **'I thought I had to hide away and never show certain sides to anyone.'**_

"8!"

 _ **'I thought that I was somehow damaged and that no one would ever fully accept me.'**_

"7!"

 _ **'I never thought at my lowest..she would be the one to make me feel...'**_

"6!"

 _ **'I can't believe I told her all of that. Why did I do that?'**_

"5!"

 _ **'My parents are gone. Granddad will soon be gone. Then I'll be alone.'**_

"4!"

 _ **'No...not alone. I have people that won't abandon me.'**_

"3!"

 _ **'I feel really warm...it's kind of nice.'**_

"2!"

 _ **'She's kind of nice. No she's...amazing...and I never would have known.'**_

"1!"

 _ **'This whole time I thought she just wanted to fit in. She was just trying to make me feel a little less lonely.'**_

"Happy new year Huey." She threw him a big smile.

"Yea...happy new year." He smiled back and for the first time in a long time, it was a real smile. "Now we're supposed to hug right?" He eagerly embraced her which caused her to stammer over her response.

"Well n-not exactly...b-but this is fine too." Her voice low and soft as she felt him squeeze her. He leaned back just enough to look her in the eyes.

"Sorry...I know it's my own fault but I don't know much about holiday traditions."

"No it's fine...but usually...people...kiss after the countdown. But we don't have to do that. I know I'm not girly or pretty like most girls." She looked away in shame.

"Well I've got this big ass afro that people tell me I should cut all the time. So..I guess...if you don't mind then neither do I." He said, looking away as well.

He felt tender hands on his neck and then he felt his lips lock with Cindy's. To say sparks flew would be an understatement. His mind imploded into a kaleidoscopic journey of thoughts and images. He had moments like this before during training but it didn't feel this blissful. The pull of her force felt like a singularity and he was powerless against it. If Cindy hadn't pulled away, he might have been there forever.

"Your hair is fine..so don't listen to those clowns." She said matter-of-factly. Huey just stared back at her in response. He thought he had the words to speak but nothing came out of his mouth. "You're supposed to say, "Oh you're so right and don't worry about what those bitches said cause you're prettier than them"." She joked before blushing a bit. Huey stood up straight and pierced her eyes with a firm look.

"Cindy...I wouldn't call you pretty either." The instant reaction from Cindy was a hurtful feeling but before she could actually react Huey continued. "You're so beautiful...I'm surprised you even put up with bitches." He said casually. Cindy just hid her face in her hands.

"Whatever...you're just saying that to get another kiss from me." She spoke into her hands

"I didn't say that." He said nonchalantly. She uncovered her face and her cheeks were rosy again.

"So you don't want another?"

"I...didn't say that." He gave her a soft smile. She returned the smile before hugging him again.

"I missed you so much." She kissed his cheek before resting her head on his shoulder and they stood there for who knows how long.

* * *

 **A/N: As a personal Huey/Cindy shipper (wow that feels weird to type out) I still try to be unbiased and in character with my stories and how everything interacts. Huey may be just a liiiiiittle out of character but that's only because we haven't seen him past the age of 10 so who knows how he'll develop in the future. I'm really just trying to write as much as I can in my free time so I'll be working on the short ASAP. Hope you all had a memorable experience and remember to keep smiling no matter what, SEE YA!**


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